Things that Rock

As promised.

I made this list last week. It is taken word for word from my journal. Some of them are not particularly valid any longer...you can guess which. Also, please forgive the unparallelness of the list. These represent unedited thoughts that came directly from my brain.

• working in the temple--becoming familiar with the ordinances
• seeing people I know in the temple [ok I just added that one but its true]
• seeing behind the scenes of the institutional church [I changed the spelling...thanks firefox]
• my internship is challenging but doable
• facebook chat is fun
• cupcakes
• eating pizza with Melissa
• independence of public transportation which lets me get around Utah without relying on other people
• my mom gave me her old phone when I lost mine. and she sent me contacts.
• watching volleyball with Melissa
• great house
• best home teacher in the entire world
• I have a mac
• beautiful skies, even though it is so cold I want to die
• I may actually be enjoying the war chapters in Alma for the first time in my entire life.
• getting rides to the temple

OK.

So last night I went to the mall with Natalie. She asked me how my life is, and I ended up spewing forth everything bad (and things that really aren't bad but that cause me grief). I felt bad for her because to take all my crap.

Anyway [look Mel, I am paragraphing in a way that will be pleasing to you], at the end of our trip, over french fries and Frosties, she asked me about the tender mercies I have seen in my life. Those were her words, not mine (obviously I would say things that rock but clearly came directly from God). I thought about it, and I realized that it is so much easier to think about and talk about and whine about the things that don't rock. I had to think a lot to answer her question--well, not a lot, but enough that I found it pathetic and embarrassing.

So let's look on the bright side. My life actually does rock. Yesterday I forgot to take my key with me to the temple, and I came home to a locked and empty house. And my roommates were watching Jimmer, so no way would I have any luck with being rescued. So I sat around feeling somewhat sorry for myself--not too sorry because I just came from the temple. Just as I decided to go buy a candy bar and walk around, Jack, my amazing landlord and manager, drove up on his way home from a birthday party and let me in. That was a tender mercy as defined by Natalie and Elder Bednar, I think. Because I usually don't get home from the temple so late, and the Mels ended up staying longer after the game (or so it felt) which wouldn't have ended for like 20 minutes or so. So I would have been wandering around in the cold forever. Or it would have felt like forever. But beautiful, wonderful Jack happened by and rescued me.

Moral of the story: Don't forget your keys. Also, God loves you.

Who Do You Think You Are?

Dear Men:


Why will ye die?

Why do you harden your hearts against me?


Love,
Sara

Jacob 6:6

Journaling

Today in my institute class, my teacher referenced his journal several times. In telling stories of his past, he said "you should have seen what I wrote in my journal." He talked about how journals can be sources of revelation, etc, etc. I've heard that a million times, and I sort of believe it. I may have actually experienced it--that is how I convinced myself that serving a mission would be a good thing. (Yes, Mel, I actually went on a mission. Hard to believe, I know, but there you go.)

Anyway, he kept using his own journal as an example of things that he had learned, and it really impressed me. I wrote down in my own journal that I need to start using it as a source of revelation.

And no, these musings are not going to lead me to promise that I will use my blog as a journal, or even that I will post more often in my blog. Because let's be honest, I won't be able to keep any such promises.

I just wanted to say that on the bus ride home to grandma's, I wrote in my journal. The whole time. I didn't want the ride to stop--and I usually don't particularly enjoy the ride to grandma's. I didn't receive any revelations, but it was a very cathartic experience--almost like talking to an enraptured (right word? no idea) best friend who has her attention fully focused on me. It was beautiful.

I made a list of all the things that suck in my life, and then I started a list of all the things that rock. Making the first list was painful, but I was able to break down my challenges into individual, almost quantifiable list items. As I isolated them and faced them one by one, they seemed a little bit more manageable. (No, I won't list them here. That would be awkward.)

Now I need to go finish making the list of the things that rock in my life. I may actually post that one.

This is the end of my blog post.