Oh! The Lunatics!

"A Wisconsin thief was completely cured of his stealing propensities the other day, by a gun load of salt, which was emptied into him."

[New York day book: vol. 23 no. 14 (27 Dec 1873)]

What a wonderful way to rid the world of thieves! Fill them with Salt. Who would have thought. Would have worked quite well in Salt Lake, I reckon. Someone should have suggested it to Old Briggy. I'm surprised he didn't come up with it himself. Times were so much simpler back then ... ahh, the nineteenth century. So rustic...so conflicted...so tv-less. I've always secretly thought that I was born in the wrong place and time. I would have made a wonderful pioneer (is that a prideful thought?). I wouldn't have complained; I would have walked and walked and walked and sang the entire way to Zion! Prairies, wagons, sunsets, square dancing, hymns, Buffalo chips...I love it all. But my nostalgic eyesight isn't completely rose-colored: pioneers also faced sickness, starvation, and accidental shootings. And, of course, mobs, extermination orders, secrets, apostasy, etc.

BUT even with all that, I'd take it. I belong in pioneerland and pioneertime.